i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
