If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
