There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
Randomize
