i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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