just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
Randomize
