well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Randomize
