legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
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