Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
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