had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
