This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
Randomize
