I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
it hurts more in the daytime
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
Randomize
