I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Randomize
