Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Randomize
