How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
Randomize
