Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
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