You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
