So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize
