I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
