so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
