I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
Randomize
