Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
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