we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
