dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
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