so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
