Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
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