Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
Randomize
