watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
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