I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Randomize
