Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
Who wears a wallet chain?!
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
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