i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Randomize
