Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
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