I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
Randomize
