Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
Randomize
