I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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