Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
Randomize
