i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Randomize
