im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
