At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
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