you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
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