in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
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