we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
