wake up i wanna do it froggy style
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
Randomize
