I wish they made helmets for livers.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Randomize
