I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
Randomize
