You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize
