Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
