is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
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