So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
Randomize
