Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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