I'm lost and stupid without you.
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Randomize
