i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
