I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
I have tasted many bathrooms
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
