And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
i need to put some appletini on your dick
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
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