I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
