Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Randomize
