I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
Randomize
