is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Randomize
